Dentists and Vets

Meanwhile, I thought I’d have a gripe about the way they announce the bill after you’ve been somewhere really expensive.

Not like at an expensive restaurant – because then you know roughly what the bill will be. And not even your local GP – because the fees are pretty well advertised.

No - I’m talking about when you go somewhere specialised – usually a vet or a dentist, where you really have no idea how much it’s going to cost. You know that the professional did things, and injected things and gave you the benefit of their experience, and of course they have to pay for all the staff and the flash waiting room with the cool vertical fish tank, and all that hi-tech brushed stainless steel, digital readout gear.
But part of you has this pathetic little hope that when you go to the desk, that they have employed a totally mad person who is charging only five bucks for everything. But noooooooo.

You stand at the desk, cough slightly. Fish out your credit card. The receptionist consults the monitor whence the professional has just sent your details and account total.
“That’s six hundred and seventy three.”

Six hundred and seventy three …???.
Six hundred and seventy three redundant five-cent pieces?
Six hundred and seventy three chocolate fish?
Six hundred and seventy three cork beer mats?
Six hundred and seventy three Haitian threepennies?
No.  She means Six hundred and seventy three ACTUAL NZ DOLLARS.  She just can’t bear to say the word DOLLARS, because it would make it too real.  She would have to identify with the poor bastard who’s coughing up his six hundred and seventy three hard-earned, non-deductible, never-to-be-seen-again DOLLARS.  She knows she could fly to Sydney and back, with change to spare for six hundred and seventy three DOLLARS.

Or the second method they use is the TODAY distraction word.
“That’s Six hundred and seventy three. *pause* Today.”

TODAY?? What do you mean TODAY??  Did I miss the last day before prices go up – YESTERDAY? Or do they just triple the prices every Tuesday – when I’m there?  Or should I be grateful that I don’t have to come tomorrow when they add two zeroes to every bill???

No I don't say anything.  I just surrender the card and pay up. I hope she has a nice day.  Today.