Phil's Spicy Tomato Chutney 2011 ...the legend

As well as being an all time nice bloke and kind to animals sort of person - I have a reputation as a maker of pretty damn fine Tomato Chutney.  Many grateful passengers on my tours have enjoyed, and indeed - begged, for this recipe.  It is great with either cheeses or cold meats.  Or even kind of guiltily licked from the jar when nobody is looking.

So, dear reader (you knows who you is) - here it is for the first time on the Information SuperHighway InterWeb :  Phil's Damn Fine Internationally And Totally, like, Famous Tomato Chutney.

2 pounds (1Kg) tomatoes, chopped: finely as you can be bothered.

3 chillies cut finely

4 onions, chopped finely

1 tablespoon dry mustard

2 tablespoons salt

1 tablespoon curry powder

2 cups brown sugar

3 tablespoons plain baking flour

2 1/4 cups malt vinegar

Dessert spoons of any of the following, according to taste: grated ginger, Anise, Cinnamon, Cumin, Cloves, thinly sliced Garlic

then 1/4 cup malt vinegar

NOW .. there is a trick to chopping a shiteload of onions without becoming terminally dehydrated by totally pointless crying.  I was told this years ago but didn't really believe it:  OK - slice your onion in half:

Then chop it into parallel slices.   Now, I have read that the whole smelly and eye-watering thing with onions and garlic and such is actually a protective measure. I.e. once the onion realises that it has been chopped, It gets all defensive and releases noxious eye-watering chemicals in order to deter the assailant.

 So the trick is: to cut it up before it knows that it's dead.  So .. next - chop it very quickly after rotating the sliced onion 180 degrees.

Put tomatoes and onions into a non-metal bowl. Sprinkle with salt and leave for 12 hours.

Drain off liquid formed. Put vegetables, sugar, first measure of vinegar and chillies into a preserving pan. Boil gently for 1 ½ hours, stirring frequently. Add grated ginger, Anise, Cinnamon, Cumin, Cloves, Garlic



Mix mustard, curry, flour and second measure of vinegar to a smooth paste. Stir into relish. Boil for 5 minutes. Pack into hot sterilised jars (heat in oven). Makes about 4 small jars.

For extra flavour: Add - Ginger (pref grated), cumin, cinnamon, cloves, 5 Spice, Fennel,  sliced garlic.